Thoughtfull Thoughts...on A Sunday Night

Well, its sunday..last day for a fun day. Tomorow is monday, another dam workday. Its been somewhat of a VERY boring weekend for me. I didnt get to see or speak too the people I really wanted to, nor did I do anything exciting or fun. Oh I did clean up my room a bit...but just a bit. Well I've been thinking of something..... what are emotions? why do they hurt sometimes? why do they create pain, and tears? I'm just curious because latley I've been going through a rough ride myself. I'm not affraid to admit or express my emotions. But latley they've been very tough to cope with. You see I'm what I call "in love"... yea Im using that word because if MY definition for it fits, then thats what i can call it. Definition: When you constantly think of her, always want to talk to her, see her, hug her, kiss her...hold her in your arms..that is love. If that is so, then thats what I feel. I dont know how to explain this really, its just something I'm having to live with right now. There have been nights where as I lay to bed, tears begin to flow. Where on my way to work, a thought of her grows into something more...that lasts all day. I dont know if something is wrong with me, why cant i get over her? You see, i told her how I feel...she knows it for sure. But tells me she doesnt see me that way. There's nothing I can do, I dont want to force her to love me, then it would never be right. But instead try to let her grow to love me...like I love her. I guess I'm just hopelessly in love..... but it sure does hurt. And now I'm getting the feeling that she's talking to someone, and might be on the verge of getting with them, if so then i guess its the end. But dam, the hardest thing to do in life, is watching the one you love..love someone else. :(